A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
