I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
