she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
