im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my poor anus
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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