Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
