at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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