She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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