dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
