my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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