Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
