Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
