I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
