I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize