the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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