i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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