is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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