Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
