Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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