i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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