I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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