The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize