Dual....:-)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
