Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
