Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm really busy with my period
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