I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
