I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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