Heybabeimwearingurpanties
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
