New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
