whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
