The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
