at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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