alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
