So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
