Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
