Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
