my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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