He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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