what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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