I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
