so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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