Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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