i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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