I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How external is "for external use only"?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
