There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
