If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
