so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
