In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
