We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
