you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize