Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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