They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
