Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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