another moral hangover. fuck.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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