you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
