Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You are the jesus of drinking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
