BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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