i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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