I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
