Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize