so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize