Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
