I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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