Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
