thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
