you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
