i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
FUCK WHALES
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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