I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
