Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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