hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
