brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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