and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i already hear my dad disowning me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize