Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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